A Malfoy All Her Own
by CherryWolf-chan
Summary: I left behind everything I've known my entire life for you. My father Hermione; how could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! What happened? Am I no longer good enough for you! Now that I'm no longer rich you're too good for me! Well! Answer. Me. Hermione.


AN: Hi! Me again...I should be getting out more eh? This was written when I was…in a "mood". Yeah, one of those moods that make a guy look at you and wonder what the hell is wrong with women. LOL Well on with the show...

**Pages: 15  
Words: 6 404**

**Disclaimer:**

Sigh. I only WISH they were mine...

**~DRACO AND HERMIONE'S FLAT~**

_**Lucius Malfoy and Hermione Granger; Latent Lovers?!**_

_In a stunning display yesterday, this reporter witnessed one Lucius Abraxas Malfoy and Hermione Jean Granger on a romantic rendezvous. Yes, I know what you're thinking; Mr. Malfoy may no longer a Death Eater; he is however still an avid supporter of pureblood supremacy. Possibly the most shocking thing about this encounter is that just six months prior, Lucius Malfoy disowned his only son Draco Malfoy. The young Malfoy was disowned for nothing else but his love for Hermione Granger. The two are reportedly living together in a flat in Central London. Well it would now seem that the senior Mr. Malfoy no longer has a problem with witches of the muggle variety. And Ms. Granger- as this reporter has humbly stated before, seems to still be the man-eater she was in her younger days. Back then it was Harry Potter and Viktor Krum. As it is she seems to have moved on to family men; only from the same family...coincidentally a very _rich_ family. One can only hope that Mr. Malfoy Jr. upon reading this article is not completely heartbroken. After all, the girl he turned his back on his family for is now off cavorting with his very own father! And one can only speculate as to what Mrs. Narcissa Malfoy is feeling. Well that's all for today my dear readers. This reporter will do her level best to find out more about this notorious scandal to keep you all well informed, with nothing but the brutal truth. Tata for now!_

_By: Rita Skeeter, Reporter Extraordinaire_

Hermione's head dropped to the table, barely missing her breakfast. "Shit."

Draco was going to be in any minute now. He never read the paper in the morning at home. He always went to work, situated himself, and got prepared for the day before taking a break to peruse the news. And when he saw this horrendous article, Hermione had no doubt that he would drop everything, and come home to interrogate her; not that she really blamed him. The man had walked out on his family name and fortune for her, and bloody hell; these pictures were enough of a crap fest on their own _without_ the ruddy article!

Around the article, three pictures were situated. One was of herself and Lucius having lunch together at the new Café in Diagon Alley a few days previous. Another was of the two of them walking down the Muggle London shopping district arm in arm. And possibly the shittiest of all was the last one. It depicted their farewell, in which Hermione went up on her toes to hug Lucius tight, and peck him on the cheek. He was hugging her back and gave her a kiss on the head before they both apparated away. And although it had been separate apparition, the angle of the picture made it look like they were side-along apparating together somewhere.

Hermione winced as she heard the sharp crack of apparition followed by a bellow. "HERMIONE!"

That's how she knew he was really pissed; he called her Hermione instead of Granger.

Cringing, she shuffled into the living room to meet him, coffee cup in hand. She was going to need it if the look on his face was any indication.

She spoke weakly. "What is it Draco?"

He spoke to her with hellfire in his eyes. ""What is it Draco?" That's all you have to say to me? I'll assume you read the fucking paper this morning! I fucking leave behind everything I've known my entire fucking life for _you_, and you turn around and slap me in the face like _this_? My _father_ Hermione; how could you do this to me?! I thought you loved me like I love you! What the fuck happened? Am I no longer good enough for you now that I no longer have the Malfoy fortune? And here I thought you didn't care for material possessions; well I guess I was wrong!"

Hermione had silent tears streaming down her face; she should have been expecting this. She tried to speak. "Draco-it-it isn't-"

Draco sneered at her. "It isn't what I think huh? Well Rita Skeeter may not be the most trustworthy source but those pictures seem to back up her story rather nicely. Well? What do you have to say for yourself you filthy, gold-digging bitch?!"

Hermione finally broke into audible sobs as she sank to her knees, her coffee cup dropping from her hand and shattering on the ground. "I-I-"

The crack of apparition caught both their attentions as Lucius Malfoy stood before them looking much worse for the wear. Before he could speak, there was another crack of apparition as Narcissa Malfoy came into their sight. And she did not look pleased.

Ignoring her son and his girlfriend, she turned to Lucius. "Well? We're here. Now explain those pictures to me before I divorce your sorry arse for every knut you're worth."

Lucius ignored her, looking on at the two children, one glaring at him furiously, and the other on her knees sobbing her heart out. "Draco what the hell did you say to the poor girl?"

Draco growled. "I just called her what she is you great asshole. The_ filthy_,_ gold-digging bitch_ just doesn't like hearing the words out loud."

"DRACONIS LUCIUS MALFOY! YOU DO _NOT_ SPEAK TO A LADY LIKE THAT! YOU'VE BEEN TAUGHT BETTER!" Lucius barked at him.

Draco growled back with equal fervour. "Oh yeah? You want me to do what I've been taught huh? Does that mean I should go call her a Mudblood as well?"

Hermione got up, still crying and shouted. "ENOUGH! BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!"

They fell silent; Lucius glaring at Draco and Draco glaring at Hermione. And well, Narcissa wasn't sure who to glare at between the three of them.

Lower lip trembling she turned to Lucius. "Father, you're not helping by shouting at him! That'll just make his assumptions worsen about us!"

Narcissa and Draco's jaws dropped. "FATHER!?"

Hermione growled, staring directly at Draco. "YES! FATHER! If you loved me enough to trust me you wouldn't have started screaming that I was a filthy slut because of an article and a few pictures...BY RITA BLEEDING SKEETER NO LESS DRACO!"

Narcissa, the only calm one in the room spoke in a controlled voice. "Alright. We will now sit down, I will put on tea, and you will explain just what the hell _happened_."

"Yes Narcissa."

"Yes mum."

"Yes Mrs. Malfoy."

Narcissa walked into the kitchen smirking. She still had it.

Once everyone was sitting at the table with a cup of tea Narcissa spoke again. "Now _explain_."

Hermione glared at Draco, all traces of tears gone; her eyes burning holes into his head. "Your son trusts a tabloid written by the great she-bitch dung beetle more than he trusts me. You just couldn't have asked me for an explanation could you? No! Just don't let me speak, and at the same time rip into me like I'm your bloody servant!"

Wincing Draco thought back on his entrance. Okay, so maybe it wasn't the most appropriate thing to do... Maybe he should have asked her about it first before shooting his mouth off.

He looked at her, wincing at her eyes; angry as they were they still held a great deal of hurt. And just maybe he'd be sleeping on the couch for the next month.

Draco muttered. "That's if I'm even allowed in the flat after this..."

Hermione retorted. "You mean if you're even allowed in _me_ after this..."

Seeing Lucius and Narcissa's odd looks Hermione answered the unasked question. "He has a habit of saying the last sentence of his thoughts aloud."

Draco hmm'd absently. "It makes for interesting pillow talk."

"If I even let you have a pillow..."

Narcissa spoke again. "Well since these two are clearly not going to explain anything then Lucius you do it. Now _speak_."

"Well you see, Hermione- don't give me that look Draco; yes I call her Hermione- Hermione positively abhorred the fact that I kicked Draco out because of her, so she decided she wanted to get me to change my mind."

"And she managed to get you to listen to her?!" Draco was shocked.

Lucius cleared his throat at that and looked at the table. "Your young lady is rather...persuasive."

"...she hung you upside down and sent canaries at your head, didn't she?" Draco deadpanned.

Hermione piped up, still glaring at Draco. "That was after he agreed to meet me, and only because my owls were disrupting his working hours and sleeping patterns. All he did when we met was tell me to bugger off. So I sent my canaries at him."

Draco spoke hesitantly. "I'm almost afraid to ask. How long did it take for you to get him to listen?"

"It took four months of owls to meet him; an hour of canaries going at his head to make him listen, and two months of arguing with him; meeting here or at the manor to finalise the deal." Hermione spoke bluntly.

Lucius continued. "Yes. Yesterday was our celebratory lunch. Hermione's treat for her finally being able to convince me to approve of the two of you, and for me finally getting my head out of my arse and admit I care more about my son's happiness than blood purity. Those were her words verbatim."

Narcissa relaxed after that but tensions between Hermione and Draco were still running high. She gave him another scathing look before standing up and making to leave. "Now that that's all out of the way, I must go. I've got some errands to run. Mrs. Malfoy, thank you for listening, and father I hope all our hard work doesn't end up for naught."

As Hermione left the room Narcissa called her back for a minute. "Young lady if you think you can call my husband father and me Mrs. Malfoy then you are off your broom. I insist you call me mother! I've never had a problem with you; it was Lucius that was a pig-headed ignoramus."

Hermione smiled weakly. "Yes I know, that's why I went after him rather than you. Thank you...mother. But I must be going. Goodbye."

And with that she was gone.

Draco let his head drop to the table and stay there. Lucius looked at him, rolled his eyes and sighed. "Draco, do sit up, that position is most unbecoming of a Malfoy."

Narcissa continued. "Yes dear, you look like a Weasley or some such nonsense. Get up and go bring her back. We'll be gone by the time you return!"

Draco looked at his parents incredulously. "Bring her back? What do I do; sniff her out? Apparation doesn't leave me breadcrumbs to follow mother!"

Lucius raised his eyebrow. "And here I thought you loved her."

"I DO!"

Lucius went on. "Well I love your mother. And I know that when I would upset her that she used to apparate straight into the tree at the back of the Black Estate. She felt safe and protected from the world in that one place. It was where she'd always go. She knew I knew, but she always went there because she always wanted me to go after her. You can't tell me you love Hermione and then say you don't know where she feels safe."

Draco gaped at him. "Bloody hell. First time I get any fatherly advice and it's about the woman I love. You both are insane."

Narcissa harrumphed impatiently. "Your children will say the same about you I'm sure; if you ever manage to procreate. Now do you know where the girl is or not?"

Draco nodded and Lucius urged him on. "Well what are you waiting for? Go get me my damn daughter-in-law boy!"

Draco just gawked at his father. "Since when is she your daughter-in-law?!"

Lucius drawled at his only child. "Draco, the young lady spent six months arguing with me because she couldn't stand to see you hurting without your family. She saw how you looked on when you would visit hers and it was killing her that it was because of her. I once tried to kill her and she'd have been perfectly within her rights to never speak to me again. But for you, she went after me. The poor girl listened to every insult I dished out at her and still came back the next day to try and get me to see reason. A girl willing to spend six months pulling my "head out of my arse" is most definitely the most patient and extraordinary person in the world. And so help me if you don't get her back I will disown you again and adopt her. At least then we'll have _someone_ persistent and brave in the family."

Draco glared at his father as he got up. "Ruddy bastard, singing my girlfriend praises."

Narcissa shrilly interrupted his tirade. "Draco Malfoy! Go and find the girl or I fear you won't be able to call her your girlfriend for long. That's if you're even able to right now...

With one last glare Draco apparated out of sight.

Narcissa turned to Lucius. "You still remember my special place?"

Lucius smoothly replied. "How could I forget my love? It's where you ran to after our first fight. And when I came after you we made up, and had our first kiss."

Narcissa smiled wickedly at her husband. "Did we now? Our first kiss you say? I'm afraid I don't remember. Shall we go jog my memory?"

Lucius smirked. "It would be my pleasure. And if I have anything to say about it, then it'll be yours too."

And with that they were gone.

**~SHRIEKING SHACK~**

Draco popped out of thin air, taking in the huddled form in the corner of the room. Hermione had her knees up to her chest and was hugging them, sobbing. Hearing him apparate in she started to cry harder.

Draco stared at her for a few seconds, at a complete loss as to what he should do. What _could_ he do? He'd accused the love of his stupid life of sleeping with his stupid father. He hadn't even cared what she had to say for herself; he'd been blind with rage.

He walked to stand before her, then with a deep breath fell to his knees. Reaching out a hesitant hand he touched her knee, and she shied away from his touch. Wincing he tried again, this time gripping her knee. Hermione weakly tried to shake him off and failed.

Gaining more confidence, Draco grabbed her other knee and braced himself on them to lean in closer to her. He then brought his hands to her arms and uncrossed them. She'd let him move her limp arms without fight, burying her head deeper in her knees. Once her arms were at her sides he grabbed her by the chin and lifted her head up so he could look at her. The red puffy eyes broke his heart. But it wasn't any less than he deserved; he'd broken her heart by not trusting her.

Hermione tried to look away, but he forced her to hold his gaze. Her eyes started to water again and he knew she was replaying the horrid things he'd said to her. Staring into her eyes he couldn't help the bile that rose in his throat. Not saying anything he sat down beside her and pulled her into his lap. He spent five minutes like that, rocking her back and forth until her whimpers subsided.

Hermione spoke in the softest of voices. "How could you think I would do that to you? Do you really think so little of me?"

Her questions tore at him like nothing else. How the fuck had he thought that?

He started to speak. "Baby I...I don't even know what to say to you. I don't even want to apologize because no amount of sorry would ever be able to relay to you how much like a rat bastard swine I feel. I don't know how I ever thought you'd do anything like that. I mean, I know you wouldn't; I just...I have no excuse. I'm just a jealous asshole who can't stand to lose my reason for living. I could say I'm sorry a thousand times and it would never express how shitty I feel enough."

Hermione whimpered. "Do you remember when I walked into our Head's Commons on Valentine's Day? Pansy Parkinson was practically molesting you on the couch. I was seeing red. But even then, I didn't doubt you. I went, pulled her off and kicked her out. And then as you started to speak I _listened_ to what you had to say to me. I trusted you. I knew you wouldn't cheat on me. I knew you respected me enough to break up with me if you felt your affections lay elsewhere."

Draco winced at the fact that she was saying all this in the past tense.

Hermione concluded. "If I could trust you after walking in on another girl straddling you on our couch, then why can't you trust me after seeing a few pictures and a badly written article?"

Draco let out a shaky breath as he felt his eyes sting. She was right. Why hadn't he? He was a stupid bastard that's why. It's like Weasel had always said; she was the brains in the relationship. He was just there because she loved him- for reasons only known by her; he doubted even the gods knew why.

He told her as much.

She just looked at him with a deadened expression. "If you don't trust me, should we even be together?"

He balked at her words as his eyes started to sting harder. "By all accounts we shouldn't be together. As to morals, you're too good for me. As to logic you and I have nothing in common. And according to our friends we'll very likely kill each other."

Her heart broke with his every word, but she did her best not to let it show.

And he saw right through her; like he always did.

With soft eyes he stared into her face with nothing but pure love and adoration in his heart for her. "But according to my heart we should be together for all of eternity. You're the reason I get up in the morning; did you know I hate mornings? I keep morning work hours just so I can wake up with and watch you get ready for the day."

Here she interrupted him with a sniff. "Well that's stupid. You need your sleep."

He smiled at her. "I don't need anything as much as I need you. And if I'm to forever have to wake at five in the morning to get to see your bedraggled form first thing in the morning I will."

He continued. "It's because of you that I've become a decent human being. When did I ever care about anyone before you drew me into you web? I could have cared less if anyone around me lived or died. But now, I'd be willing to stand in front of you for an Unforgivable just to see nothing happened to you. Not just you, I'd do the same for Potter, for all those Weasleys; hell even for Crookshanks. I'd do it because I know it'd hurt you if something happened to them. And I never wanted to see you hurt. And now look; I've hurt you worse than anything else could. What a load of shit boyfriend I am."

She smacked him in the chest. "I wouldn't want you hurt either you nincompoop!"

He smirked down at her. "You know I love that you say asinine words like nincompoop. And at least if it were me to go I wouldn't have to see you in pain. But I do have something further to tell you. This is a secret I've kept for years…since before we got together, and I never wanted you to know but…"

She could only fear the worst as she nodded at him to go on.

He started. "You're the reason I'm still alive- an absolute bucket of shite, but alive. Do you remember that night in seventh year when you first came over to my room? I had been silent all day and no one had noticed or cared. I hadn't mattered enough to anyone for them to bother asking if I was okay. But then you came along, all loving and caring and asking if I was alright. You cared to ask why I was so silent; me, the bastard who spent six years calling you a Mudblood. That night; just knowing one person could care for me-a person who had every right to dance a ballet on my grave; that night saved me"

He paused here, and suddenly looked unsure. Hermione nudged him and motioned for him to keep going.

He took a deep breath. "I…was planning to Avada myself that night. I thought no one cared for me; no one loved me. My parents were wrapped up in their own shit with the war reparations. My housemates were too busy with their own lives. Pansy only cared about when I wanted to fuck next. Not once had anyone asked how the war had affected me; I was just the child of Death Eaters after all. I was going to die; I had my wand in my hand and everything. And then you came knocking and I figured you wanted to tell me the weeks' rounds' schedule. I decided to humour you since as this would be your last time seeing me alive. But then you bloody went and asked me what was wrong. You asked why I'd been so silent; if I was okay. You asked if I wanted to bleeding talk about it; talk about how the war had been for me. You fucking _cared_ about me. And you shouldn't have. Look where it got you. You're in the fucking Shrieking Shack, crying because I'm a great big bastard with a demonic temper."

Hermione had been staring at him the entire time he was speaking. As he finished she burst into a new set of hysterical sobs. This time she slapped him hard across the face. "YOU FUCKING LITTLE SHIT! HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT NO ONE CARED FOR YOU? How could you not have told me all this time that you were going to kill yourself that night? What if I hadn't come to see you? What if I'd decided to come later? I may not have liked you but we'd just been through a war! How do you think I'd have felt if my roommate- regardless of who he was- up and bloody killed himself, while I was sleeping next door?! How would your parents; your friends have felt? We'd all lost people dear to us to the war and then to have someone suddenly go and kill _himself_, _after_ the war would just...just..."

Growling she slapped him on the other cheek, and buried her face in his chest. He in turn, buried his face in her hair, inhaling the scent of her cherry blossom shampoo. "You know you're the reason I believe in the fates. If you hadn't been fated for me, you wouldn't have chosen that exact moment to come barging in. You saved my life, and thus my life is in your hands; not only my life, but my heart as well."

She spoke, her voice muffled by his shirt. "You say I have your life and heart, but if that's true then why can't you trust me?"

"Because I'm afraid; alright?!" He choked.

She moved back and stared at him in disbelief. "What could you possibly have to be afraid of? I'm the one who has to worry about you moving on to greener pastures!"

Now it was his turn to stare in disbelief. "_Me_? _Greener pastures_? Granger the pastures don't get any _greener_ than you; trust me! It's me who has the right to be insecure! Look at you; beautiful, smart, adventurous- in the sack and elsewhere-, sexy as sin, and all bossy in this hot way that makes every man near you hard as a rock. I can't help but worry at every sign that you're moving on. You could do so much better than me. I guess I was just waiting for you to realize you're too good for me and move on. And when I thought you finally had, I blew my top at you to try and cover up how hurt I was that my Hermione had finally figured out she could do so much better than me."

This time she punched him in the chest...hard. "You're a right tosser if you think I could ever do any better than you. And even if I could, the hold you have over my heart wouldn't allow me to stray. Besides, I could never find a man with your sexual prowess...anywhere."

Draco lightly smirked. "Yeah well I still feel like a snake about what I said. Here you are doing all this shit for me; putting up with my father's stupidity every day for six months. You're doing this all for me; so I'd be happy. And then you finally succeed and knowing you, you were planning some big huge _thing_ where you'd probably have father walk in with a big bow on his head. And then a fucking article from Rita Fucking Skeeter and I turn around and treat you like _this_. I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm lucky your intelligence dulled over the years; if you were still as smart as you were back in Hogwarts you would have broken my nose again and kicked me out of the flat, sending all my things out the window."

Hermione sighed. "Dealing with father's stupidity was nothing; I've been dealing with yours since I was eleven. And trust me; in that respect the apple does _not_ fall far from the tree. And if you feel that bad, you can help father and I _ruin_ Rita Skeeter tomorrow alright?"

"It won't make me feel better, but I'm sure it'll put me on the road to recovery."

"Hmm, how'd you know where I was anyway?" Hermione questioned.

"Well I couldn't think of where you were at first but then father yelled at me. Said if he knew mothers special place than I had better known yours if I loved you like I said I did. Mother's place is a tree behind the Black Mansion; the first time she ran there they had their first kiss when he found her. I just knew you'd be here."

She smiled slyly at him. "And why's that?"

Grinning boyishly, he replied. "Well for one thing, only you Granger would be weird enough to come to the Shrieking Shack when you're upset. And that's beside the point; this was where we had our first kiss; how could I forget that? I came up here to be alone because I was pissed at myself for fancying you. I wanted to be alone to try and reason out why I would like a bossy, bushy-headed little bookworm when I could have any woman I wanted. And then you go and follow me here to ask if I'm okay, because I'd been acting distant. It was then that I knew I couldn't ever love anyone but you. You're the most beautiful, caring, _insane_ witch I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. I could never want anyone else. After you asked if I was alright, I just took one look at you, scooped you up by the hips and kissed you with everything that I am. And then when I pulled back, _you_ yanked me back in by the hair saying you wanted more than just a taste. You see my love, I know this is your safe place, because it's mine as well."

Hermione just grabbed him by the hair like those many years ago, and dragged him in for a mind numbing kiss. Pulling back, she looked at him again. "Wait, what do you mean _insane_?"

Chuckling, Draco replied. "You bloody went and dropped everything you were doing to run out after me. You could have caught your death woman! It was bloody December and you ran all the way to the Shrieking Shack in just your blouse and skirt.

She looked at him slyly. "It was alright in the end though wasn't it? You warmed me up rather nicely once you got into it."

Draco grinned at her. "You know what? I know the perfect way to make this place special to us for the rest of our lives. I was thinking of the perfect place to do this, and oddly enough I can't think of anywhere better than here, right now."

Hermione looked rightly confused but nodded along.

Draco reached into his pocket and pulled out a box. And with Hermione sitting right there in his lap, his arms circled her so she could see the box as he asked his question. "Granger, we're in this dark, dank, musty, dirty old haunted house where we kissed for the first time. You were just crying because I'm an idiot and I just told you you're the reason I didn't kill myself when I was seventeen. So I'm asking you this here and now. Hermione Jean Granger, would you do me the honour of being my wife? I promise to never doubt you again, no matter what. I'll even make an Unbreakable Vow to it. But I need you in my life; Malfoy's always get the best of everything and you my dear go above and beyond the call of duty as far as being the best, most amazing woman in the history of time and space."

With that he opened the box to reveal a platinum band, encrusted all around with emeralds and diamonds.

Hermione at this point was a blubbering mass of tears and hair. Somewhere in her blubbering he made out something to the effect of, "No Unbreakable Vow, just give me your word." She could do nothing but nod as he slid the ring onto her finger. When he was done she turned and flung herself at him, sending them both to the floor.

Not that he minded; he was a bit preoccupied with her mouth.

**~MALFOY MANOR~~SOME TIME LATER~**

Standing in the front foyer, Hermione's hand in his, Draco yelled as loud as he could. "OYE! FATHER, GET YOUR ASS IN HERE! MOTHER! COME ON YOU TWO; I BROUGHT YOU BACK YOUR DAMN DAUGHTER-IN-LAW!"

Before anyone could blink Narcissa was seen running in from the parlour and Lucius was stumbling down the steps from his office, two at a time.

Narcissa was the first to notice the ring. "OH! Dear boy! Lucius, he brought her back as a _real_ daughter-in-law!" And with that she embraced them both before kissing Lucius soundly.

Draco looked very, very embarrassed. "Mother? Father? Could you possibly not snog right now? You're traumatizing my future wife, not to mention _me_!"

Narcissa glared at her son condescendingly. "We are merely celebrating! I thought I'd never get grandchildren what with your stupidity when it comes to female emotions!"

Hermione finally spoke. "Uhm, about that...I kind of have an announcement."

Without a second of thought Lucius let out a great laugh and picked Hermione up, twirling her around. "Thank you my dear! I'm going to be a grandfather!" And with another whoop he put her down and swept Narcissa into an ecstatic kiss as Hermione blushed.

This entire time Draco had been silent. And then he spoke. "I-me-I-we-you-I'm...daddy?"

Narcissa looked at him in irritation. "Lucius did that too..."

Hermione glared at him. "Yes Draco; you're the daddy. Do you want a paternity test? After all, when it's born with blonde hair and grey eyes it could very well be your half-brother."

Draco continued his stuttering. "NO! But you-but I-but baby-HOW?!"

Lucius commented dryly. "My son doesn't know how he made a baby with his girlfriend. I'm not sure whether I should be embarrassed or...no I'm just really very embarrassed."

Draco finally started to slowly come around. "I'm going to be...a daddy. You're going to have my baby? I'm going to have an heir who I can teach to fly brooms..." He just stood there looking dazed.

Hermione turned to Narcissa. "Are they all like this? I tell the man I'm having his baby and he starts talking about teaching it to fly a bloody broom."

Narcissa sighed. "You'll get used to it dear. But for now, I believe it's about to sink in...right...about...now!"

As Narcissa said those words Draco got a look of dawning realization on his face. And with that he swept Hermione into his arms bridal style and started carrying her up to his old bedroom. "A baby; I can't believe we're having a baby! This is amazing; I can't wait! I love you so much Granger, and now I get a baby out of the deal too!" He was practically whooping with joy.

"DEAL!? WHAT AM I; A BUSINESS TRANSACTION?!"

And that was the last thing Lucius and Narcissa heard before Draco walked into his bedroom and put up a silencing charm.

Lucius turned to his wife. "He'll never learn will he?"

Narcissa snorted. "Well he takes after you...so no."

**~MALFOY MANOR~~NEXT DAY~**

Everyone congregated as Lucius made a big show of reading the front page article of the Daily Prophet.

_**Rita Skeeter: On Trial for Defamation of (Many a) Character**_

_It seems the well-known Rita Skeeter, ex-Daily Prophet reporter is now on trial for a great many indiscretions over the years. As it is the woman finally hit the straw that broke the Hippogriff's back. When her last article defaming Hermione Jean Granger, and Lucius Abraxas Malfoy came to print, she signed her death warrant. Suddenly every person she'd defamed ever since starting her career was coming forward to lodge a complaint against her. Suffice to say she won't be seeing much in the ways of news action for a very, very long time. Following is a list of only a few of the complaints:_

_Defaming Hermione J Granger's character in relation to Lucius A Malfoy, Harry J Potter, and Victor Krum_

_Defaming Harry J Potter's character in…well…general_

_Spreading scandalous gossip about Ron Weasley only marrying Astoria Greengrass for her money; likewise with Hermione J Granger and Draco L Malfoy_

_Spreading falsities that Theodore T Nott and Marcus O Flint have been carrying on an affair since their fourth year at Hogwarts_

_A horrid rumour that Pansy P Parkinson was seen selling herself in Knockturn Alley because it "made her feel good"_

_A ridiculous accusation that the Patel twins trade off paramours when it strikes their fancy_

_As the reader can see, Rita Skeeter has messed with some very powerful families. However, I can without a doubt say that I'm not the only on relieved that she's out of the business. Au revoir Rita; oh we shall not miss you so!_

_How's that for the Gryffindor Whore Ms. Skeeter?_

_By: Lavender Brown, Most Delighted Replacement of Rita Skeeter_

Draco smirked at Hermione. "What happened to that whole bit about her being an unregistered animagus? I can't believe you kept Brown from publishing that juicy tidbit!"

Hermione shook her head at him. "Oh Draco darling, do keep up with the business! Lavender is waiting until all the fuss dies down from _this_, then she's publish the dung beetle information. The girl does need to keep the papers hot to sell!"

Draco snickered. "Right, how silly of me. And after that dies down we can tell her how my father said she had fish lips!"

Narcissa primly turned up her nose in distaste. "Well if the woman couldn't find it in her to respond to a man of Malfoy blood…there really is no hope for her in any respect."

Hermione smirked and gestured to the Malfoy men. "Agreed. She may as well be dead if she can't react to _these_."

Draco went to smirk and then paused. "These…what do you mean _these_?! Are you saying you find my father attractive?!"

Hermione giggled at her finance. "Let's just say, if I didn't have you then that article might have just had some truth to it…if I could get by Mother's wand of course."

Narcissa smirked at the girl.

Lucius gave his son a smug look.

Draco shuddered. "Am I the only one who sees how sick and twisted it is that you're practically making passes at a man you refer to as father?!"

Hermione grinned at him. "Oh it's not just him. I tell you Voldemort really knew how to pick them…every Death Eater I've encountered was a damn piece to look at; I tell you!"

Draco looked like he'd eaten a bogey flavoured every flavour bean.

Narcissa clapped at Hermione. "Oh I know dear! Why do you think I went to those dreadful meetings? I wasn't on for the Pureblood supremacy, but the men at the meetings…"

Hermione nodded at her. "Yes! I tell you, even with his dirty appearance, that Rudolphus was a sight!"

Narcissa giggled along, ignoring her scandalized husband. "Oh I know! And apparently a giant in the—"

"MOTHER!"

"NARCISSA!"

Hermione snickered. "Oh dear, I think two certain someone's are feeling just a smidgen insecure with themselves! Should we help remedy that?"

Narcissa grinned. "I dare say we should!"

As both women lead their respective beaus away, Hermione couldn't help but get one last jibe in, so she yelled back over her shoulder. "Say Mother, did you ever happen to see any of them in any state of undress?!"

Twin shouts shook the very foundations of the Malfoy Manor. "_**HERMIONE!**_"

Down in the kitchens, the elves could only shake their heads and wonder what happened to quieter times. Times when the Master and Mistress of the manor were meant to be reserved, and keep their activities limited to the bedroom.

They could only imagine the furniture they'd have to clean, and the freshening spells they'd have to put up in the various rooms of the manor when the new Mistress moved in permanently.

**AN: So this has been sitting 4/5 done on my computer since August 2011. This isn't the ending I was originally going with but I found I hated that idea so much every time I tried to write it it died. I rather like this one and hope everyone else does too! And for those of you lamenting on my change in writing style, don't worry. This was a one-time thing and I was just in a very emotionally volatile state. I'll try not to let it happen again! LOL! Cherry out!**


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